Dad used my credit card to go on vacation


Sally Herigstad is a certified public accountant and the author of “Help! I Can’t Pay My Bills: Surviving a Financial Crisis” (St. Martin’s Press, 2006). She writes “To Her Credit,” a weekly reader Q&A column about issues involving women, credit and debt, for, and also wrote for MSN Money, and, and has guested on Martha Stewart Radio and other programs.

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QuestionDear To Her Credit,
I recently applied for a credit card and it
was sent to the wrong address. I put two addresses on file, one being mine and
the other being my dad’s. I told the issuer to send the card to my address, but they
sent it to my dad’s.

Well, without telling me, my
dad used my card. I know that is fraud, but I don’t know what to do. He bought
a plane ticket with his name, the same last name as mine, and he spent a lot of

Should I just call and report this as
fraud? My dad is not picking up the phone, so there is no way of coming to
terms with him. Besides, I have no money to pay this balance. What should I do? – Krstina


Dear Kristina,
Your dad knew it was your credit card. He
knew he had no right to use it. He had no excuse to use it on airplane tickets
and whatever else he bought in his little spending spree. And now he is not
answering your phone calls because that is easier than admitting what he did
and finding a way to make it right.

People seldom start this kind of behavior
overnight. For him to so blatantly steal and use your card, and for you to
believe that he could, means he probably has a history of selfish and
unreliable actions.

He could strike again – maybe next time by opening a card
in your name. Or maybe next time he’ll steal from your siblings or other

You have to stop him. To protect yourself and make him think twice
about striking again, you need to report the unauthorized use of your card as

Step 1: File a police report

The procedure for reporting fraud when you
strongly suspect the perpetrator is a relative is exactly the same as if you
had no idea who used your card. You need to start by filing a police report.

The police report is important for establishing that a crime took place. You
don’t have to tell your father that you know he is the thief. Your card was
compromised, so you called the police.

Step 2: Set a fraud alert, consider a credit freeze

You should place a 90-day fraud alert on your
credit. You can do this by notifying one of the three credit bureaus (Equifax, Experian or TransUnion). The
bureau you contact will alert the other two bureaus.

A fraud alert lets lenders
know when they check your credit that they should take extra steps to make sure
you are really you – not an identity thief.

You may want to consider instituting
a credit freeze instead of a fraud alert with each of the credit
bureaus, which can last up to seven years or
until you remove it, depending on your state law. Read “How
credit freezes work, what they cost
” for more details.

Step 3: Dispute the charges

Most importantly, you should dispute all
fraudulent charges on your account. Call the number on the back of your credit
card, or find the fraud section of your credit card company website. You will
need your police case file number.

After you report the fraudulent charges, the
bank will cancel your old card and give you a new one, so if your dad still has
your card or the numbers from your card, they won’t do him any good.

Be sure to check for recurring charges on
your card billing statement every month, even after you get a new card. Banks sometimes update
account numbers
so recurring charges can go through, so if your dad subscribed
to internet or other services, you’ll want to catch them and have them

If, by chance, you added your dad to your new
card as an authorized user, then you need to cancel his card immediately. The
bad news: As the primary account holder, you are liable for his charges since
you authorized him to be on your card account.

I don’t know why you would have
added him, but on the off chance you did, there is no recourse but to cancel
his card and figure out how you or the both of you will repay the debt.
Authorized users are not liable for charges made to the account.

You might be surprised how many people have
had close relatives steal their identity or otherwise compromise their

It’s one thing when it’s a naive teenager using mom’s credit
card, however. A grown man using his daughter’s card is very disturbing.

difficult as it may be, I believe you should put a stop to it now. By doing so,
you are protecting your finances and good name, and learning to stand up for
yourself whenever you need to in the future.

See related: Familiar fraud: When friends and family members steal your identity, Act fast when fraud hits, even if it’s by mom and dad

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